Posts Tagged ‘writing’

Back to Reality Blog Break

I have totally been having funky fussy feelings.

I want to blog and hang on A Living Family Facebook page since I’m feeling momentum . However, I need to create another life for myself (financially), and part of that is becoming a childbirth educator. Instead of reading and researching and writing to finish my certification, which hopefully will get me some income in the future, I’m doing the same things for free. I love doing them, but I’ve only been given two years to finish my certification and over a year has passed. EEK!

Step in Christine of The Aums and her Blog and Laundry Break post.

Seriously, other than the fact that I have no idea what a meme is, this woman was speaking directly to me! I need to take a blog break. This is hard because I love writing and have so much I am thinking about, so much that seems worth sharing (I hope). I also feel eager to start building a new life  around all these things that I am passionate about: childbirth, breastfeeding, home/unschooling, and all kinds of parenting topics from babywearing to baby-led solids, from signing with children to gentle discipline.

Christine’s taking a week off, but here’s my plan.

I like feeling community on Facebook with all the mamas out there, so I’m going to keep doing that but limit my computer time to an hour a day. On the blog, after I finish the book club post that is late, I’m going to run the posts I have scheduled. I will keep up the Unconditional Parenting posts every week and the Sunday Surf every other week. I’ll also share my Mamatography blog each week. Then I will take the month of February and see what I can get done when I get serious with this birth educator work.

As Christine requested, here’s what I’ll be doing instead of blogging:

  • Reading Birth Reborn (Michel Odent), The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth Birth (Henci Goer), Ina May’s Guide to Breastfeeding …. and finishing Unconditional Parenting….but I don’t have to write a book report on that.
  • Tour a hospital or birth center (need two, but I’m aiming for one) and interview a medical professional there.
  • Interview my homebirth midwife.
  • Spend time with and create activities for my two year old daughter.
  • Stare at, smell, cuddle and kiss as well as marvel at my baby boy.
  • Try to get some sort of routine/regularity/rhythm in our family life.
  • Keep my house (and myself?) cleaner.
  • Write my birth story for my second homebirth.
  • Get outside daily. (Carnival post with the rest of my first time ever New Year’s resolutions coming next week….)
  • Sleep a bit more…..?

So folks…..

On Surrender…

Writing with the kids each week has inspired me in other moments. Then Bring Birth Home posted a status on Surrender.

Surrender. To birth, to your newborn, to your older child’s needs. Breathe and allow the natural course of things to flow without fighting for change or escape. Surrender. ♥

I felt struck. Where I had felt intent on abundance, I now felt a shift towards surrender, not unlike my experience of birth. Here’s something I wrote today inspired by that status:

Till Vision Comes

Mind racing,

pacing

through hallways of thought

and intention.

Want to be free,

to fall effortlessly

into dark mysteries

of the universe.

Tumbling, leaping,

Bounding,

Over the ethereal landscape,

Surrendering fully

to the pull of purpose.

Open

in heart and mind,

Willingly blind

with trust,

Till vision comes.

Open to Abundance: another poem

I had the chance to spend a good half hour writing silently while a dozen adolescents did the same — under tables, in nooks, on computers and with pencils. We wrote and wrote and shared. Here’s what I shared:

I am open to abundance.

I feel the rush of spirit

flowing through me

guiding me through

the cloud of the unknown.

I move intuitively

asking

listening

feeling my way.

Twists and turns

Raging rapids

threaten to

pull me under

I close my eyes and look within

searching

for trust

for faith.

 

I am open to abundance

I know the calm of truth

settling on me

offering me

clarity of vision.

I move intuitively

asking

listening

feeling my way.

Worries, fears

Questions and doubts

quiet down

and fall away

I open my eyes and look all around

seeing

the blessings

the beauty

of my life.

Filled with Gratitude

I am thankful today, feeling in the flow, down in the groove, in the pocket. I have felt like that often of late. My life is changing. I feel the way that I get when something big is coming.

Ironically, in my mind the language I use to describe my feelings is water despite the fact…or perhaps because I grew up in Kansas. Not a lot of water out there. I did have access to some creeks (pronounced “cricks” — I imagined these to be very small creeks which are small streams which are small rivers).

In heavy labor, my visualization to release and relax my way out of pain was a wave. Long before that, in early labor came my hardest moment, when I instinctively laid down in the cool, clean riverbed to save me from my doubts in myself. The water rushing over me masked the sensations of rushes overcoming my body.

I have the feeling now of being in a river, wide and strong. I feel the pull and power of the rush of current, the speed, the quickening swinging me around the curve. For you drivers out there, it’s that feeling after you’ve gotten hooked into a turn, and you accelerate to hold that centrifugal force. You have to whip out of this kind of thing at some point, but right now I have that sense of being directed, the flow expressed easily through me.

Everything seems to make sense. Every thing feels full of meaning. Each thought, each act and moment feels like the PRESENT.

This is at times, of course. I am filled with gratitude for the opportunities that I have had to get that close to the source of all things. I have been blessed with so many moments of clarity and grace. Indeed, I continually count myself the most blessed person I have ever known. (And as my friend Joe McCullough likes to quote, “And I love to be proved wrong, so you can show me what your trick is.”)

And you, my friends, what are you grateful for?

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